“Nurturing, personalised and engaging.” That’s how Year 11 pupil Phoebe would describe her primary school experience. Yet nurture in her secondary schools was notably absent.
Up until then, Phoebe felt that “there were enough resources to make each pupil feel comfortable, safe and listened to. There was always something going on to keep every pupil involved and interested. I felt my personal opinion was valued.”
The transition to secondary school
Although she felt confident ahead of joining secondary school, Phoebe's experience left her and her parents feeling like they had no choice but to home educate her.
We were all treated like we had the same needs as one another. We weren’t treated like individuals. I was told quite a lot that I was wasting staff time when I was asking to leave the classroom because I was feeling overwhelmed.
In my last year in school, a new policy was introduced whereby if you were approached by a member of staff in the school you had to make eye contact with them and comply with everything they asked of you. Anything other than this was seen as talking back.
There was no such thing as pupil voice. When a pupil used their voice to mention something, staff often tried to deter these student's opinions by saying things like ‘I don't make the rules, this is how the system works’.
When I was overwhelmed, and wanted to leave the class, there was nowhere else for me to go as they also locked the toilets during lesson times. I felt suffocated and trapped. This is what led to my ‘bad behaviour’ because I would just leave the classroom but have nowhere to go. I would walk around the school trying to find some space. At this point I would be followed by an ‘army’ of SLT staff telling me if I wasn't going to go to my lesson I needed to go to isolation.”
After two turbulent years, two different secondary schools, and a lot of research, Phoebe and her parents agreed to deregister her and begin home education.
Home education
After the switch to home education, Phoebe immediately felt better mentally. Home education was the best option available to her at the time, but it shouldn't have been. "If school had been different I would be looking at grade 9s in my GCSEs,” she says.
The Six Principles according to Phoebe
The Six Principles of Nurture are foundational for schools looking to create a safe and inclusive learning environment.
They enable school staff to focus on the social, emotional and mental health of children and young people, ensuring all pupils are ready to learn. When social, emotional and mental health needs are not met, this can negatively impact behaviour, attendance, engagement and ultimately educational outcomes.
The classroom offers a safe base
In a nurturing school, the classroom environment is inviting and nurturing for all. The classroom offers a balance of educational and social, emotional and mental health experiences aimed at supporting the development of children’s relationships with each other and with staff. Adults are reliable and consistent in their approach to children and make the important link between emotional containment and cognitive learning.
Phoebe’s secondary school experience highlights the need for consistent support processes to help pupils to feel safe and secure.
When I was worried in school I did not find that there was a consistent system.
They used to tell us we could talk to our personal tutors but when we did they would send us to someone else and then they would send to someone else and it ended up in a big chain of never actually finding someone you could talk to.
There was not a balance between education and mental and emotional health. Everything was purely education focussed and I was often told ‘your education is the only thing that matters right now’ when I was struggling and wanted to leave the classroom environment. The staff who did try to help me often had to deny me the help I needed in front of more senior staff members.”
The importance of nurture for the development of wellbeing
Nurture involves listening and responding; everything is verbalised with an emphasis on the adults engaging with pupils in reciprocal shared activities. Children respond to being valued and thought about as individuals. In practice this involves noticing and praising small achievements - nothing should be hurried.
Strategies should be put in place that promote the wellbeing of children and young people, as well as staff wellbeing. Consideration should be given to how achievements and attainments are celebrated, and what structures are in place to promote the pupils’ voice.
Language is a vital means of communication
It is important for children and young people to be able to understand and express their thoughts and feelings. It is also crucial for adults to understand the importance of their own language towards children and young people, and how this can impact them. Children often ‘act out’ their feelings as they lack the vocabulary to name how they feel. Informal opportunities for talking and sharing are just as important as more formal lessons teaching language skills. This enables words to be used instead of actions to express feelings.
It is helpful to provide opportunities for pupils, parents and staff to express their views, and that adults model how to share feelings and experiences. Pupils’ voices should be valued, and language should be assessed, developed and embedded in all aspects of the curriculum at the appropriate level for the child or young person.
The importance of transitions in children’s lives
Children and young people experience many transitions throughout their lives, and on a daily basis; transitions from home to school, between classes and teachers, from breaktime to lessons, or moving from primary to secondary school. Changes in routine are invariably difficult for vulnerable children and young people, and school staff can support pupils to transition with carefully managed preparation. Pupils should be included in the planning of support, as well as parents and carers where possible, and information should be shared at key transition points.
Phoebe’s experience of transitions in her secondary school left her feeling unsafe and let down by promises of tailored support that never materialised.
The start of the school day was stressful enough even if you were on time.
The second you walked though the gate you had staff members on your back about uniform and equipment measures, for example the wrong colour socks or no purple pen (for self correction). If you were to arrive more than two minutes after the bell rang you would be sent to the late room for the whole of the form period. If your excuse was that your bus was late, they would say you should have got an earlier bus.
About halfway through my first year of school, a member of SLT conducted an experiment by walking from one side of the school to the other and claimed that it took 3 minutes and 15 seconds. As a result of this, a new rule was introduced in which you must arrive at your next lesson within 3 minutes and 15 seconds from when your last lesson ended. This wasn't effective because it gave students no time to decompress, to pack up their things and no time to go to the toilet or fill water bottles. You also suffer the consequences of this rule if your teacher let you out of your lesson late. This became your fault.”
Children’s learning is understood developmentally
Children are at different stages of development - socially, emotionally, physically and intellectually - and need to be responded to at their developmental level in each of these areas. Responding to children ‘just as they are’, with a non-judgemental and accepting attitude, will help them to feel safe and secure.
Social, emotional and behavioural development tools such as the Boxall Profile® help staff to assess and track a child’s needs and put strategies in place to support positive development.
All behaviour is communication
People communicate through behaviour. It is the adult’s role to help children and young people to understand their feelings, express their needs appropriately, and use non-threatening and supportive language to resolve situations. Our first responsibility in dealing with difficult or challenging behaviour, after safety, is to try to understand what the child is trying to tell us.
The outward behaviour is often the ‘tip of the iceberg’, and so it is important to consider the immediate environment and what occurred just before the incident happened. School events, the time of year, and home circumstances can also give us clues. Adults need to be calm and consistent, and understand that children may communicate their feelings in different ways. Children and young people need to be encouraged to reflect on their behaviour, and understand how to express their emotions appropriately.
How is Phoebe doing now?
Having already completed four GCSEs, she is sitting her English, Maths and Science exams this summer.
She is planning to rejoin the formal education system at a FE college in September to study Politics, Law and Drama. Since leaving mainstream she has qualified as a children' s gymnastic coach and last summer spent a week in Spain, helping Spanish teenagers with their English. She’s returning to Spain again this summer to volunteer on the same programme.
“Somehow, despite the turbulence, we got her through,” reflects her mum Jacqui.
She has missed out on formal education but has learnt so much - we both have!
Throughout the last two years of home education people have frequently said how 'lucky' we are to be able to home educate. It didn't feel lucky, it felt like we had no other option, but we have no regrets. The whole family was impacted and struggled with our mental health in those first couple of years in secondary school and I felt we had no choice but to remove ourselves from the system for our own wellbeing. I think there is a kind of grieving that happens when your child is not able to be in school - a sense of loss as what could or should have been. In the right environment I think things would have been very different.”
Phoebe was keen to share her story and we hope that her reflections highlight the importance of nurture from a young person's perspective.