Posts by Cressida Wyer
Guide to belonging: The heart of the nurturing school
In the UK’s current educational landscape, the definition of success has evolved. Under the November 2025 Ofsted Inspection Framework, inclusion is no longer a peripheral concern; it is a standalone evaluation area. The benchmark for "Strong" or "Exceptional" ratings has shifted from mere physical presence to deep-rooted psychological safety.
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The shift: From inclusion to belonging
It is no longer enough to provide a seat in a classroom. Schools must now demonstrate they are cultivating an environment where every child feels they truly belong. As the School Inspection Toolkit (v1.1) states:
“Pupils feel welcome, valued and respected and that they belong within the school community.” (p. 49)
We are moving away from viewing schools as only academic institutions. Instead, we are building learning communities that recognise intellectual engagement only flourishes when built upon a foundation of social and emotional wellbeing. This focus extends beyond Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) to encompass disadvantage, mental health, and protected characteristics.
Defining belonging
Allen et al. (2021) define school belonging as the degree to which students feel personally accepted, respected, included, and supported by peers, teachers, and other adults within the school's social environment. Allen and colleagues emphasise that belonging isn't just about being physically present, but about feeling emotionally connected, safe, and a valued member of the school's social system.
How can nurture help?
We recognise that a nurture-informed, whole-school approach can serve as the vital practical framework for developing deep-rooted belonging. By embedding the Six Principles of Nurture into daily operations, we have the potential to transform 'belonging' from an abstract concept into a measurable reality for every pupil.
By linking the Six Principles of Nurture to Ofsted requirements, we can better understand how nurture practice can create a culture of belonging for all learners.
The Six Principles of Nurture and Ofsted
1. Children’s learning is understood developmentally
When we meet a child or young person where they are, not where their chronological age suggests they should be, we focus on their stage, not their age. We can then plan to ensure that the curriculum is relevant.
Ofsted link: Inclusion
Inspectors look for "Adaptive Teaching." This means showing how you modify the curriculum for a child whose emotional age might be lower than their actual age.
2. The classroom offers a safe base
The environment is predictable, structured, and welcoming. This creates "containment," where the presence of reliable adults helps reduce anxiety and allows for risk-taking in learning.
Ofsted link: Inclusion & Wellbeing
The "Report Card" evaluates if the environment removes barriers to attendance. A safe base reduces "emotionally-based school avoidance" (EBSA).
3. The importance of nurture for the development of wellbeing
Nurture involves active listening and responding. It prioritises self-esteem and emotional health as the foundation for academic success.
Ofsted link: Personal Development
Ofsted looks for how the school builds resilience and "character."
4. Language is a vital means of communication
Developing the vocabulary to express feelings is essential. Adults model "naming" emotions (e.g., "I can see you're feeling frustrated") to help others understand their own internal states.
Ofsted link: Quality of Education
The explicit teaching of emotional literacy and self-regulation vocabulary across the school.
5. All behaviour is communication
Moving from punitive reactions to a curious approach: "What is this child trying to tell me that they cannot yet say in words?"
Ofsted link: Attendance & Behaviour
A shift from punitive "zero-tolerance" to relational approaches. Inspectors look for how schools address the root causes of absence and disruption.
6. The importance of transition in children’s lives
Managing macro and micro changes with "bridging" activities and visual supports to maintain a sense of security.
Ofsted link: Leadership & Management
Inspectors look at "Transition Effectiveness," especially for vulnerable groups moving from Primary to Secondary or from alternative provision back into mainstream.
Next steps
To build a nurturing school is to acknowledge that academic achievement is rooted in belonging. When we apply the Six Principles of Nurture, we create a school culture that does more than just "manage" students; we create a community that holds them. In the modern educational landscape, fostering a sense of belonging is the most effective strategy we have for ensuring every pupil can reach their full potential.
To help schools move from theory to evidence-based practice, nurtureuk provides tools specifically designed to meet the rigour of the new inspection standards:
The National Nurturing Schools Programme
A comprehensive journey for schools to embed a culture of belonging, leading to the Nurturing School Award
This tool allows schools to move beyond "gut feeling" by providing a precise assessment of social and emotional needs. It enables staff to set targets and track the impact of interventions, making belonging "measurable."
Our e-learning suite provides staff with the tools to build a consistent, relationship-centered environment where every student feels seen, understood, and supported in their development.
Free lesson plan! Belonging and Children’s Mental Health Week
The theme for Children’s Mental Health Week this year is 'This is My Place', calling for all children to feel like they belong in school.
Belonging, or 'mattering', refers to the feeling of being valued and appreciated; the feeling that you are noticed, you are important, and you are missed when you're away.
A sense of mattering in school is crucial in children’s healthy development and wellbeing, and schools have a responsibility to ensure that all pupils are supported to belong. A lack of mattering in children or young people may result in academic difficulties, behavioural problems, and poor mental health.
The nurture principles support belonging by encouraging us to look at the whole child and meet their social and emotional development needs.
This lesson plan provides strategies to cultivate belonging in school and activity ideas to get you started.
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Cultivating belonging in pupils
As a teacher—or any member of staff interacting with children and young people—you have the opportunity to make that child feel seen, heard and valued in that space. This is a great power which can have a far-reaching impact on the wellbeing of that child. Therefore, the interactions you model with that child are significant: your facial expressions, your body language, how you speak with and listen to that child.
You should pay close attention to praise, consistency, and communicating emotions.
Strategies include:
- All adults positively greet children coming into class.
- All adults end the day positively sending the children home with a nice thought, wish for the evening and fresh start tomorrow
- All adults give praise for small achievements and be consistent with rewards and sanctions.
- Set clear achievable tasks with appropriate rewards.
Activities:
Be aware that individuals that lack a secure sense of belonging may find it difficult to engage in activities, therefore initially, perhaps do not engage directly with them or enforce participation. You might also try finding out the interests of these specific pupils and creating activities linked to it.
Our lesson plan activities include:
- I am valuable
- Fingerprints
- Yarn connections
All strategies and activities are either suitable for both primary and secondary school pupils, or we've included a simple adaptation.
Complete the form above to unlock these strategies and activities in our free lesson plan.
6 tools to support pupil wellbeing for a more inclusive school
New Ofsted guidance is putting a greater focus on inclusion in schools. To create inclusive spaces where every child can belong and learn, we need to first understand their individual needs. With the help of some brilliant tools and resources, educators are able to identify social, emotional, and mental health difficulties in pupils and put strategies in place to support their wellbeing.
Here are our top six tools to support pupil wellbeing.
1. Headspace for Educators
The meditation app Headspace provides free access for teachers across the UK. Once approved, you’ll get a library of classroom-specific resources to bring mindfulness to your students.
This can be a great tool for in-the-moment regulation and behaviour management, or built into a strategy for pupils identified as having high social, emotional, or mental health needs. The app can be used for personal use as well as in the classroom—remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup and looking after your own mental health as an educator is essential.
2. ClassDojo
Parental engagement platforms like ClassDojo bridge the gap between home and school. To understand the whole child we must bridge this gap, and maintain consistent lines of communication between school staff and families and carers.
We often see a distrust in education going back generations in families. It takes work to repair this relationship and digital tools can help. So rather than only hearing from school when something has gone wrong, ClassDojo helps form positive links with parents, families, and carers via messaging, photo, and video sharing of pupil activity.
3. Zones of regulation
Most educators have heard of the zones of regulation. Don’t underestimate their impact. The simple tool should be completed by pupils daily (and as needed) for a wellbeing check-in, building emotional regulation and behaviour management in children and young people. Pupils choose which zone they are in, often upon entering a classroom—green, blue, red, yellow—providing a common language for understanding emotions, and flagging any wellbeing concerns to teachers.
Download a zones of regulation classroom poster here.
4. Mental health training with Anna Freud
Supporting pupil wellbeing starts with supporting staff.
With more and more children and young people presenting with complex social, emotional, and mental health needs, teachers need help to meet their needs. Sessions with Anna Feud include topics such as Autism and Wellbeing, Supporting Students Experiencing Anxiety, and Responding to Students Who Self-Harm.
5. On-demand e-learning with nurtureuk
A nurturing approach in schools has pupil wellbeing at its heart. Start embedding nurture in your school setting with online, self-paced, affordable learning modules. These lessons compliment in-depth training by providing immediate support for your nurture practice in areas such as Transitions, Nurturing Parents, and an intro to a Relational Approach.
6. The Boxall Profile® Online
The Boxall Profile® Online is the leading assessment tool in UK schools for identifying social, emotional, and mental health needs in children and young people. Before you can support pupil wellbeing, you need an objective, evidence-based understanding of their social, emotional, and developmental needs. BPO provides this data-driven insight for individuals, groups, and the whole school. From here, educators can make adjustments and put strategies in place to ensure that every child feels included.
A nurture approach to the post-Christmas period
Christmas can be described in many ways—a time of excitement, but also one of stress, trauma, and dysregulation which you may see play out in the children in your classroom.
The structure and routine that grounds many children can feel suddenly ripped away. Consistent timetables and lessons might be replaced with carol concerts and festive activities, boundaries and expectations shift. This is followed by an extended period away from school, in diverse home environments.
For many children, this is a positive and fun experience. But for others, this sudden change can feel overwhelming and overstimulating. For some, home might not have the same feelings of comfort and safety that we might expect.
Preparing for the return to school after Christmas
In the lead up to Christmas, routines are broken and school becomes unpredictable. This is further exacerbated by an extended time away from school, meaning behaviour and developmental problems may regress upon the return to the classroom.
The festive period might result in an increase in disruptive behaviour, a decrease in engagement, a withdrawal from participation, or heightened emotional states. This is particularly likely for children that have experienced early trauma or have unstable home lives. Not all children have safe and happy homes, filled with laughter and presents over Christmas.
To ensure you support all children’s needs this Christmas, take a nurturing and trauma-informed approach to welcoming your pupils back in the new year.
Nurtureuk’s 10 tips this Christmas:
Language 🧠
Avoid questions such as “What did you get for Christmas?”. For families where money is tight, this question could trigger negative feelings.
Don’t assume everyone wants to talk about their Christmas break. Instead of asking “how was your Christmas?”, welcome them back into the classroom warmly.
Safe base 🔒
Don't assume that all children had a positive experience over the holidays. Re-establish school as their safe base.
Maintain access to a trusted adult to help with feelings of security and regulation, and deal with any emotions that might have been brought up over the Christmas period.
Wellbeing ❤️🩹
Have strategies in place to support those struggling. Put extra scaffolding in place for pupils that will likely need more help to regulate their emotions post-Christmas.
Look after staff wellbeing—this can be a sensitive time of year for many, particularly those who have experienced bereavements.
All behaviour is communication 🗯️
Behavioural incidents may increase in the new year due to increased stress and anxiety over Christmas. Remain curious about what this behaviour tells us and be adaptable to differing needs.
Address the emotional needs that are raised. Implement emotional check-ins, relaxation techniques, and peer support.
Transitions 🚃
Adapting to the school environment again can be challenging. Try visual aids, clear communication, and lots of patience.
Reinforce routine and consistency from day one, but understand that it might take time to settle into these again.
Developing emotional security in children and young people
With the release of our new data analysis, Time to Nurture: Responding to the social-emotional development crisis in our schools, we’re sharing strategies and activities for educators to address one key Developmental Strand of SEMH assessment - emotional security.
Emotional security
Strong emotional security means that a child or young person feels secure in themselves and knows that they are held in positive regard by the adults.
Conversely, a low score in this Developmental Strand indicates that the young person may have to revert to survival instincts to get basic needs met and does not see other people as pleasurable. They may not have had enough attention, praise and appreciation.
Emotional security aims:
We want the students to be able to:
- Develop trust in the adults in school, knowing that support is available to them.
- Turn to an adult for help or assistance.
- Ask for help when struggling to complete the task set.
- Look up and make eye contact when spoken to*.
- Take appropriate care of their work or something they have made.
- Show effort or pride in a good piece of work.
- Accept constructive criticism and re-direction of work.
- Identify an area of strength.
*Please note that in some cultures, eye contact may not be appropriate. Also, for some pupils, eye contact can be particularly difficult, for example with some diagnosed conditions or for individuals who may have suffered trauma.
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Over 3 million children in England need support with social and emotional development
More than three million schoolchildren in England estimated to need support with social and emotional development
Number of pupils with high level of needs has increased by 60% since 2018
Children’s social and emotional development is facing a crisis in England, according to new data which highlights a sharp rise in the number of school pupils facing difficulties.
Analysis released by education charity nurtureuk suggests that nearly 1 in 6 (16%) school children aged 5-16 now have a high level of social and emotional needs, up from 1 in 10 (10%) in 2018 - a jump of 60% [1].
Combined with the 27% of schoolchildren with moderate needs, the analysis suggests that nearly half of all schoolchildren in England (43%) now need support with social and emotional development - equating to more than three million pupils [2].
Many are struggling with fundamental skills such as managing their emotions, building positive relationships, and concentrating and behaving in the classroom.
The data comes from nurtureuk’s Boxall Profile® Online - the most popular tool in state-funded schools for measuring Social, Emotional, and Mental Health functioning [3].
Arti Sharma, Chief Executive, nurtureuk, said:
“So many of our children are now in urgent need of help if they are to succeed in school and life. This issue isn’t going away–it’s only getting worse. And it means extra pressure on schools and teachers.But we know change is possible."
The report follows an emergency motion earlier this year by NASUWT - The Teachers’ Union, which highlighted the struggle that many teachers were facing to meet the behaviour needs of their pupils.
Arti Sharma added:
"Through nurture practice and the use of the Boxall Profile® Online, schools are able to spot social and emotional development needs early and respond with the right support. This transforms pupils’ wellbeing, behaviour and readiness to learn–and it also protects against the far greater social and financial costs that come when these needs go unrecognised.”
School exclusions - usually prompted by challenging and disruptive behaviour in the classroom more than doubled between 2017/18 and 2023/24 [4], with last year’s excluded cohort estimated to cost the Treasury in the region of £1.9bn [5].
The report highlights schools, working with nurtureuk to identify and address children’s social and emotional development needs, which are seeing improved behaviour and attendance, reduced suspensions and exclusions.
One example is Forest Academy primary school in Croydon, where 70% of pupils are eligible for free school meals. Since working with nutureuk, the school, which has around 200 pupils, has managed to cut suspensions to zero, down from a peak of seven in 2021/22.
Swabra Lloyd, Headteacher at Forest Academy, which was just announced by the government as one of its 21 ‘Attendance and Behaviour Hubs’, said:
“It’s really quite simple - once you have happy children, they want to be in school.
“Using the Six Principles of Nurture and the Boxall Profile® Online, we can identify children experiencing social and emotional difficulties much more easily, and also put in place the support that’s needed for them to thrive.
“Ultimately, we believe our children learn best when they feel safe, understood, valued and have a strong sense of belonging.”
Nurtureuk is calling for universal social-emotional assessment in schools, supported by DfE statutory guidance, and investment in whole-school nurturing approaches.
The charity’s analysis will be discussed at an Inclusion and Nurture in Education All Party Parliamentary Group event on 11th November.
Notes to editors:
Read the full Time to nurture report here.
[1] The figures are based on comparative data between 2018 and 2024. The breakdown is as follows:
- A total of 6,810 schoolchildren from 25 schools were assessed in 2018. 10.3% were found to have high needs, 26.0% moderate needs and 63.7% with no apparent needs.
- A total of 19,311 schoolchildren from 100 schools were assessed in 2024. 15.6% were found to have high needs, 27.4% moderate needs and 57.0% with no apparent needs.
The vast majority of assessments were carried out by classroom teachers (65%) or the teaching assistant (7%). (See report appendix).
[3] Department for Education [2018]
[4] In the academic year 2017/18, there were 410,753 suspensions in England: https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/permanent-and-fixed-period-exclusions-in-england-2017-to-2018. By the academic year 2023/24, there were 955,000 suspensions: https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk/find-statistics/suspensions-and-permanent-exclusions-in-england/2023-24#dataBlock-2ab02f3d-16e3-48f8-b326-fb95b1ed2a98-tables
[5] Institute for Public Policy Research [2025]. Analysis shows £1.9bn will be lost to the Exchequer for last year’s excluded cohort. When children are told to leave their school permanently, they go on to cost the state £170,000 over a lifetime in reduced earnings, welfare use, and criminal justice costs.
What this means for an average class size
If we assume these rates are reflected in the average class, then our analysis suggests that five pupils would have high social-emotional needs that require urgent intervention, eight students would have moderate social-emotional needs that require monitoring and support to ensure they do not escalate, and 17 students would have no apparent social-emotional development needs and be within the norms of their age groups.
About the Boxall Profile®
The Boxall Profile® was developed over 50 years ago by educational psychologist Marjorie Boxall. It provides a precise way of assessing pupils’ social and emotional development needs, planning interventions, and measuring progress in the classroom.
The digital version, the Boxall Profile® Online (BPO), was introduced in 2015. It is the most popular tool in state-funded schools for measuring SEMH functioning and has been used by more than 14,000 schools, nurseries, charities and other organisations.
About Social, Emotional and Mental Health (SEMH) needs
The 2014 Special Educational Needs and Disability (SEND) Code of Practice introduced "SEMH" to highlight that challenging behaviors often stem from underlying socio-emotional or mental health issues.
Over 40,000 pupils in the North East of England to benefit from a new nurture programme
Over 40,000 pupils in the North East of England to benefit from a new nurture programme rolling out across schools in the region
We’re thrilled to be partnering with the North East Combined Authority as part of their Excellence in Education Programme. Our Nurture the North East programme will be delivered to over one hundred schools across Northumberland, Newcastle, North Tyneside, County Durham, Gateshead, South Tyneside and Sunderland.
Nurture the North East
There are two key aims of the programme.
The first is to empower educators to deliver nurturing interventions that improve the social, emotional and behavioural needs of children and young people. The second aim is to support the wellbeing and professional development of teaching staff through delivery of accredited training programmes.
These aims will be achieved by delivering a range of training, resources and support including Boxall Profile®, whole-school nurture programmes, as well as training and support for setting up nurture groups.
SEMH need in the North East of England
Schools in the North East have seen rising social, emotional, and mental health (SEMH) needs since COVID-19: 96% of schools reported an increase in students with SEND, particularly in diagnoses of autism, SEMH issues, and speech and language difficulties. And yet, 84% of schools indicated they lacked capacity and resources to adequately support these students.
We know the enduring impact of the pandemic disproportionately affects disadvantaged pupils, widening the attainment gap, and that children in the North East are more likely to be born into disadvantaged contexts.
Our programme aims to equip schools with the skills and strategies needed to foster truly inclusive learning environments, allowing all pupils to succeed both in school and wider life.
The impact of nurture in the North East of England
We anticipate the programme to reach 142 schools, 243 educators, and over 40,000 children and young people. The impact of this partnership, therefore, can be significant in improving the life chances of children and young people across the North East.
Arti Sharma, nurtureuk CEO, said:
“We are absolutely delighted to be working in partnership with the North East Combined Authority on this vital programme that will support thousands of pupils across the region. Every child deserves to be ready and able to learn, and by identifying and addressing social and emotional development needs early on, we can give pupils the foundations they need to thrive both in the classroom and in life. At nurtureuk, we've seen first-hand just how transformative relational practice can be for children, their families and schools. We're proud to play our part in helping educators build inclusive environments that unlock every child’s potential.”
Cllr Tracey Dixon, Leader of South Tyneside Council and Cabinet Member for the North East Combined Authority, has also celebrated the partnership:
“The Nurture the North East programme is a fantastic example of how we can come together as a region to give every child the best possible start in life. By supporting teachers and helping schools to meet the social and emotional needs of pupils, we’re not just improving education - we’re improving life chances. This is about making sure that every young person in the North East, no matter their background, is nurtured and has the support they need to flourish, learn and succeed.”
Our Nurture the North East programme kicked off this October 2025 and spans a two-year period. For more information on the programme, please contact jacqui@nurtureuk.org
The North East Combined Authority (North East CA) was formed on 7 May 2024. It is led by Elected Mayor Kim McGuinness and the Cabinet and covers the seven local authority areas of County Durham, Gateshead, Newcastle, North Tyneside, Northumberland, South Tyneside and Sunderland. For more information visit www.northeast-ca.gov.uk
Embedding nurture across a multi-academy trust
Emma Johnston
Programme Lead, Educational Equity | Schools Alliance for Excellence
Greensand’s journey with the Surrey Nurturing Schools Programme
A shared vision for nurture
Greensand Multi Academy Trust, comprising ten schools across Surrey and West Sussex, joined the Surrey Nurturing Schools Programme (SNSP) to unify its approach to supporting pupils’ social, emotional, and mental health (SEMH). Rooted in the belief that every child should feel safe, valued, and empowered to “step into their greatness,” the trust embraced the Six Principles of Nurture to create a consistent, inclusive culture across all schools.
Delivered by national charity nurtureuk and facilitated by Schools Alliance for Excellence (SAfE), the SNSP offered a framework to embed nurturing values across all stakeholders – governors, trustees, staff, and pupils – while addressing the need for a clear, accessible approach to SEMH support.
Strategic implementation and training
The Surrey Nurturing Schools journey began with Epsom Downs Community School, who were already committed to the approach and had a successful nurture hub. The school had updated their development plan to prioritise nurturing principles, particularly to address emotionally based school non-attendance (EBSNA), and staff were beginning to see huge benefits. Headteacher Anya Salisbury then collaborated with SAfE to secure funding from the Mental Health Investment Fund and the other Greensand schools joined the programme of training, led by nurtureuk.
A series of trust-wide events followed: headteacher sessions on cultural change, SENDCo workshops, and governor training on the neuroscience of nurture. All schools have received training from nurtureuk throughout the programme, with many incorporating it into INSET days. Staff were introduced to tools like the Boxall Profile to identify SEMH needs and tailor support through Individual Education Plans (IEPs).
Transforming culture and practice
The SNSP has reshaped relationships and classroom dynamics across the trust. Staff now prioritise emotional regulation before addressing behaviour, using nurture strategies to de-escalate situations. This has led to calmer classrooms, consistent responses, and improved behaviour management.
Staff wellbeing has also improved. Teachers feel more equipped to support pupils, and teaching assistants have shown strong engagement with the neuroscience behind behaviour. The programme has fostered a shared language and understanding across the trust, while parental engagement has grown through forums and award applications.
Positive outcomes and lasting impact
The impact on pupils has been profound. Incidents of children attempting to leave school have dropped dramatically, and attendance is now in line with national averages. Pupils are more emotionally resilient, using tools like Zones of Regulation to express themselves. One child who previously struggled with severe behavioural issues is now participating in school life, including sports day and assemblies.
Greensand CEO, Sue Wardlow, is thrilled with the outcomes of the programme. “Our trust schools have worked collaboratively with the Surrey Nurturing Schools Programme, finding significant value in shared training, consistent language, and the structured support provided by nurtureuk and SAfE. This collective approach has strengthened staff development and fostered coherence across schools, particularly when aligned with wider policies and strategies such as behaviour and SEND. A strong theme of belonging has emerged, becoming increasingly central to our work. While each school is at a different stage in embedding nurture principles, the evidence of positive impact is clear where these practices are more firmly established. Recognising that cultural change takes time, we remain committed to prioritising this work as a key part of our ongoing development.”
Monitoring through the SNSP award process, Boxall Profiles, and stakeholder feedback has further confirmed the programme’s success. While achieving consistency was a challenge, regular leadership meetings and ongoing reinforcement have helped embed the nurturing ethos.
Looking ahead, Greensand is committed to sustaining and deepening this work. The trust’s advice to others: make nurture a central, ongoing priority – because when children feel safe and supported, they thrive.
Would you like to bring nurture to your Trust?
Through the wardrobe: A child’s journey into nurture
Philippa Rollins
Philippa Rollins is an assistant head teacher at a specialist SEMH primary school, where she has worked for over 20 years.
Starting as a nurture teacher
When I began my career as a social, emotional, and mental health (SEMH) nurture teacher over twenty years ago, I was part of a newly opened specialist provision with a vision to embed a whole-school nurture approach.
My early days in the classroom often felt like I was in survival mode. I was learning minute by minute and—after a particularly eventful day that involved more than one child under the table—I was wondering if I was getting anything right.
The headteacher, who had worked alongside Marjorie Boxall in Hackney, popped her head around my classroom door and imparted, as she often did, a nugget of wisdom: ‘they like Greek myths.’
And she was right!
A shared metaphorical language
The children were hooked. Years later, I realised that Greek myths are rich in metaphors and allow the children to transform their inner world into gods, monsters, quests and heroes. They create emotional distance so children can explore their feelings, giving the teacher and child a shared language, a shared connection.
My love of metaphor has continued to grow. They give meaning to feelings when you don’t yet have the words. They allow you to speak the unspeakable.
And so, that is why I’m going to write in metaphor using one of my favourite stories, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, to tell you what it’s like for a child with SEMH needs starting in a nurture group or attending a specialist provision for the very first time.
Because for so many children it’s exactly like stepping through the wardrobe.
Entering the unknown
Even before they stand in front of the wardrobe, adults around them speak with confidence and hope, offering the phrase ‘fresh start’.
But it doesn’t feel like that to the child. Like in the story, it feels more like they are being sent away—again—for reasons they don’t fully understand, carrying everything they have lived with them.
When they finally arrive, standing in front of the unknown, they enter the wardrobe with unfamiliar smells, textures and sounds. Some children freeze in the doorway, overwhelmed, others charge through with fists flying, ready for a fight. Some turn and run, retreating to the known, they may hide or shrink, quiet and compliant, not making their needs known. Others float through, disconnected.
All of these reactions are coping strategies for transitions, faced with the unknown and a lack of felt sense of safety.
Like Lucy and her siblings, each child’s journey through the wardrobe is their own and we must not only meet them where they are at—discarding our own expectations—but try our very best to understand what lies beneath the behaviour and behind the fur coats.
We must show each child unconditional acceptance, safety, wisdom; be a calm, loving strength and presence just as Aslan was for the four children in Narnia.
To be a consistent and persistent presence as the child navigates and discovers this new world is not an easy task.
Children's trauma and defences
The child does not trust easily. They have been tricked along the way, white witches in disguise offering sweet powdery Turkish delight and making promises, only to be betrayed and disappointed. They have learnt to live in a world where love is conditional and safety uncertain.
Even now when they have arrived, being offered care and warmth from Mr and Mrs Beaver, they still feel the wolves chasing, their nervous system on high alert, hypervigilant for danger.
Some, like Edmund, run back to what hurt them, acting out behaviours not because they want to but because it’s what they know—there is safety in the known.
And it’s in those moments we have to embody safety: in our bodies, our words, our actions. It has to radiate from the very centre of our being.
The child, however, may have other ideas. They have built armour without help…strong but heavy and so tiring. All their energy goes into maintaining it, stopping cracks, reinforcing it, staying alert.
This armour keeps danger out but it also keeps love out.
The shield of shame is carried by many, a strategy forged by themselves, quietly over time built with whatever was available— denial, rage, minimising, blame. This shield offers protection from intense feelings of worthlessness, unlovability and negative self beliefs.
The shield keeps danger out but it also keeps out connection.
Children who build defences on their own without the wisdom and compassion from a knowing guide (a lion, perhaps) build defences that don’t just protect, they imprison. They keep the wolves out, but they keep the warmth out too.
Always winter, never Christmas.
Establishing trust with the child
Of course, Aslan didn’t send the children on their journey through Narnia unprepared. He didn’t gift them with escape routes but with tools—tools not to avoid a dangerous world but to face it.
In the same way, our gifts to the child are not weapons or escape, but inner emotional tools. These tools cannot remove the struggles the child faces, they are not meant to. Instead, they prepare the child for when we are no longer walking by their side. They begin to gently replace what the child has bravely built—strategies that helped them survive but not yet become.
The endless winter in Narnia didn’t end just because danger had passed. It wasn’t a battle that brought spring. It began to thaw when something greater arrived—Aslan. His presence, connection, warmth and safety. In the same way, the winter of the child’s inner world does not melt as soon as they leave a difficult situation. It is our warmth, safe presence and connection in the classroom that begins the thaw.
However, if you remember back to when I sat at the end of the day in my classroom, I did not feel like Aslan. I felt more like Mr Tumnus, a little afraid, unsure, deskilled and not knowing what to do next.
I hadn’t got it all right, I’d made mistakes and missed opportunities. Mr Tumnus reminds us all that we don’t need to be perfect, he didn’t have all the answers, he just made a choice.
And maybe that’s it…Spring may enter the child’s world, not in perfect plans but in the choices we make each day in our classrooms. We all have the choice to respond from compassion, to stay present and seek connection, whilst holding in mind the ‘invisible’ armour that the child brings with them.
So remember, even when the ice hasn’t melted yet and change is slow…there are signs…
‘Aslan is on the move’
Need help with your nurture group?
Our Theory and Practice of Nurture Groups training will give you a deep understanding of the Boxall Profile®, the Six Principles of Nurture, and how to identify strengths and needs to plan effective nurture support for your setting.